A Tearful Goodbye to the Great Eight – Second Round Playoff Predictions

Before I start my second round playoff predictions, I would like to congratulate the Washington Crapitals on a truly brilliant regular season. In fact, let us all take a minute to recognize one of the great regular season’s in NHL history:

• An NHL best 121 points and 54 wins. That’s 8 points more than any other team in the circuit.
• A league best 318 goals. That’s the highest total in the NHL since the lockout and 46 more than the next best team.
• Eight players with 19 or more goals including 3 with at least 33.
• Converted over 25% of their power plays and lead the league in power play goals by 11 over their closest competitor.
• Another 50 goal, 100 point season from Alex Ovechkin plus 100 points from Nicklas Backstrom.
• A Norris Trophy finalist in Mike Green (proving you don’t need to play defense to be the league’s best defenseman).
• A regular season sweep of the DEFENDING STANLEY CUP CHAMPION Pittsburgh Penguins and a beautiful President’s Trophy banner to hang in the rafters.
• Sell out crowds in sweaty Teddy’s ice house almost every night.

I’m sure the Craps will reminisce on these brilliant accomplishments while they watch the last three rounds of the playoffs in stunning high definition (unless their cable system does not get Versus). No doubt the Great 8 will talk at length about how close the Craps came to winning a…, well a first round series against an eighth seed, at the awards banquet in June. I’m sure Ovie’s memories of ALMOST beating Montreal will be right up there with his memories of ALMOST making the semi-finals at the Olympics.

In the mean time let us say goodbye to the Great 8 until next season. We will miss you. We will miss Alex Semin and his keen observations about Sidney Crosby. Congrats InvisibALEX, that was one darn pretty assist you totaled in seven games.

We will miss Green needing a map to find his own defensive zone. We will miss Jose Theodore holding on to his starting job for all of 70 minutes of playoff hockey. We will miss Bruce Boudreau complaining about the refs (and prefacing with, “I don’t want to sound like I’m whining but…”). We will miss the Crapital bandwagon, filled with fans who were fortunate enough to discover the sport of hockey post 2007.

Seriously, we’ll miss it all, while we watch the Pens in round 2.

Actually, I have somewhat mixed emotions on this. The Penguins have won three Stanley Cups in their history and every one of them including some sort of humiliating beat down of Pittsburgh south. Maybe it’s a bad omen to not steam roll the Washington speed bump on the way to the Cup. And quite frankly I was looking forward to knocking those overrated hacks out again. Alas, I’ll just have to settle for that shell shocked, Hossa-like look of disbelief on Ovie’s face after losing to a team they finished more than 30 points ahead of.

One final thought before I get to my second round predictions. Remember how Ovie mocked Jaroslav Halak after game 2? Do you think he regrets that decision after Halak stopped 131 of 134 shots in the last three games? To quote Rudy from Fat Albert, “Ovie, you like a school house at night…you got no class !”

With that lovely introduction, here are the matching second round predictions from Emily and me. We fired off a mediocre 4 and 4 record in round 1 but I’ll happily exchange one victory’s worth of pride for that beautiful Crapital humiliation.

Pittsburgh Penguins (4) vs. Montreal Canadiens (8)

What I liked about the Pens first round victory over Ottawa. Sidney Crosby was absolutely dominating scoring 14 points in 6 games. Evgeni Malkin found his game as well scoring 4 goals and 8 points in six games (pretty solid numbers when not compared to Sid). And the Pens grinders once again raised their games in the post season. That includes 3 goals from the Jordan Staal line in game 6 and a total of 7 goals from their 3rd and 4th line guys.

What I did not like. The Pens continued to be very sloppy defensively and allow way too many quality scoring chances. Marc-Andre Fleury was better than his statistics but only after a rough performance in game 1. The team was frequently sluggish at the start of games, especially the last two games of the series. And the penalty killing, a huge strength in the regular season was terrible in this series.

The reality is that Ottawa was ripe for a beating, especially given their ECHL caliber goaltending pair of Brian Elliott and Pascal Leclaire. Now the Pens will play in Montreal, where they are historically bad against a goaltender who might have just posted the greatest three game stretch in playoff history. Imagine what Halak could have done if he were not so clearly intimidated of Ovie and his minions.

That being said, the Pens are much better than Montreal. There is a reason Halak just had a historic three game performance; the Habs defense is historically bad. I know the Pens miss Hal Gill but when he’s your top defensemen that’s a real problem. And unlike the Craps who make Joe Thornton look like Gary Roberts, the Pens have playoff experience and playoff toughness. The will not stand on the perimeter and fire unscreened 50 footers at Halak.

I’m still concerned about the boys and I have some fears about this series. That being said, I expect Sid, Geno, and Matt Cooke to strap the team on their back and a Pens win in 6 (Emily’s pick, Pens in 5).

Boston Bruins (6) vs. The Eastern Pennsylvania Orange and Black Goon Squad (7)

Moments after the winter classic, I wrote a blog stating that the game would be a preview of a great second round playoff series. I pointed out, just as Tim Thomas was being honored as a U.S. Olympian that he would lose his job to somebody named Tuukka and Tuukka would outplay Ryan Miller in the first round. I noted that Bobby Boucher, who was sitting on the Philly bench that day, would rediscover his form from 2000 and actually impersonate a real NHL goaltender.

Alas I got fired up pondering all the wondrous possibilities of the BCS and forgot to publish it. That’s my story.

I guess I have to fall on my sword in regards to the Goons. I picked them to get swept out of the first round, in large part because they were playing a third string goaltender against a future first ballot hall of famer. I picked that result even before I found out they would be without Jeff Carter and Simone Gagne. If I had known that I would have picked Devils in 3.

As for Bruins, I just did not believe that they had enough offense after Marc Savard’s encounter with the Cooke Monster. Amazingly after sinking my fantasy hockey team all season, David Krejci and Company woke up just in time for the post season. And isn’t that the same Marc Recchi who scored the game winning goal against them in game 6…OF THE 1991 PLAYOFFS?

How do you pick a series between two teams that have no business being in the second round? I’ll do what I always do and look at the goaltenders. The red hot Rask and/or Paul Steigerwald’s man crush Tim Thomas against Boucher; or if the Goons get lucky and he returns from injury, long-time minor leaguer Michael Leighton. Given that…Bruins in 5 (Emily’s pick, Bruins in 6).

Chicago Blackhawks (2) vs. the Western Canadian Blue, Green, and White Goon Squad (3)

How about a rematch of last season’s incredibly exciting second round series. The Windy City Warriors, lead by the talented trio of Kane, Toews, and Keith (plus some guy who used to play for Detroit) against the Canucks, lead by Bobby Lu and the freak twins. That would be Roberto Luongo whose glove turns to stone in big games and the Sedin twins who give me nightmares but more in the Freddy Krueger way than the Jaroslav Halak kind.

These two teams do not like each other which is understandable because seriously, who likes the Canucks? They are the biggest bunch of slash and run pansies in the NHL. Last year I saw these teams engage in a brawl fest at the United Center and things were not much prettier in the post season. The Hawks took down the favored Nucks in six and put up a humiliating seven spot against Luongo in game 6.

The Hawks deserve credit for the most dramatic victory of round one, specifically there short handed game tying goal with 13 seconds left in game 5. Duncan Keith gets the YouTube moment of the year for squirting the idiot Predator fan from the penalty box with the water bottle (is the term “Predator fan” an oxymoron?). Antti Niemi gets credit for given the Hawks big time playoff goaltending and continuing to bail out Dale Tallon’s post all night drinking binge signing of Cristobal Huet.

The Canucks continue to have the entire Canadian media contingent on their bandwagon. I continue to have no idea why. If Terry Murray had not lost his mind and demoted his best goaltender to the minors, I think the Sedins would be playing golf with Ovechkin and Semin right now. Since they stuck around for one more round, I’ll go…Hawks in 6 (Emily, Hawks in 4…this girl’s got confidence).

San Jose Chokes (1) vs. Detroit Dead Wings (5)

Give San Jose credit. They did everything possible to maintain their reputation as playoff chokers. They kept an inferior opponent alive for six games. They made an above average goaltender look like Patrick Roy (or maybe Jaroslav Halak). They lost a game where the only goal they could score was a perfect shot by defensemen Dan Boyle…against his own goaltender. And the NHL’s softest so called superstar Joe Thornton, along with fellow softies Patrick Marleau and Dany Heatley combined for 1 GOAL IN 6 GAMES.

And yet the Sharks managed to stumble into the second round in spite of themselves. They got a strong performance from Joe PAVELski and finally got big time playoff goaltending from Evgeni Nabokov. So what is their reward for surviving the first round?

That’s right, a match-up with the two time defending western conference champion Detroit Red Wings. That’s right, a team that almost always rises to the occasion in big games against a team that almost never does. That’s Zetterberg, Datsyuk, and Lidstrom, who were last season bombarding Phoenix in game 7, against Thornton, Marleau, and Heatley who were last seen in mid March. Isn’t it near time for Heatley to demand another trade?

Gee, let me think about it…Wings in 6 (Emily, Wings in 6).

All Hail the Mighty Penguin, Blessed be the Penguin for it is good. And enjoy your early spring Ovie !