The Habersports blog is recorded live from Buffalo Wild Wings in Tampa, Florida watching game 4 of the Pens and Sens. Ah the beauty of business travel.
I’m actually happy about this because I still do not have cable in my new condo. As a result, I actually had to go to Florida to watch the game. Amazingly, the manager at BWW is from Pittsburgh and a Pens fan. So he happily puts the Pens on the big screen and even gets me the dulcet tones of John Forslund on play by play. For once, the NHL gets priority over the NBA.
With that I give you the play by play. All times eastern daylight and clearly approximated.
7:08 – I start my crusade to have the Detroit/Phoenix game (which must have started at 3:30 eastern) removed in favor of the Pens. I am repeatedly told it’s a 7:30 start, even as I point to ESPN’s website on my blackberry. Thankfully modern technology prevails, the B-dub team believes me and I get the game just in time. Sadly I miss that pseudo military guy who sings O’Canada in both languages in Ottawa. One of life’s small disappointments.
7:20 (ish) – The Penguins are DOMINATING the first period but have not scored. I truly hate this in hockey. I always feel this is a set-up for one of those horrible losses when you outshoot a team 40-20 and lose 3-2. See Red Wings, Detroit in 2004 and 2006.
7:30 – Geno to the rescue. I have not seen Mr. and Mrs. Malkin back in the USA but their son has got his game back. After and up and down season, Geno is on fire. He rips a power play slapper past Ottawa’s Junior B goaltender Brian Elliott for the only goal of the first period.
7:45 – My co-worker is from Indiana and not really in to hockey. He humors me by watching the first period so I’m happy to discuss his alma matter, a small basketball school called Butler. Alas, he runs out of gas and splits. I’m now officially the crazy guy watching a hockey game by himself in Tampa. I wonder what other people must think as they watch my usual machinations. For some reason, “call the police” is my first thought.
8:00 – The B-dub manager from Pittsburgh stops by and we talk Penguins hockey during the intermission. He then switches topics and shockingly wants to talk about Ben Roethlisberger, who apparently is having a rough month. In other news, the sun came up this morning, republicans do not like Barack Obama and potato chips are high in fat.
8:10 – Sid the Kid strikes to give the Pens a 2-0 lead. Earlier this year, some idiot wrote a blog saying Sid did not consistently demonstrate a superstar’s 5th gear. That guy obviously knows zero about hockey. Sid has been a beast all season and he wants to single handedly win this series. Thankfully, he does not have to with Geno and the boys getting to full throttle.
By the way, Jason Spezza turns the puck over on Sid’s goal. That’s probably no more than the 50th time he’s done that in his playoff career. Spezza is not just soft, he’s Joe Thornton soft.
8:11 – The Cooke monster makes it 3-0. Assisted by the Superstar…Max Talbot.
8:12 – During the subsequent Ottawa time out after the goal I ponder one of the many unanswered questions in the universe; just how bad must Pascal Leclaire be if Ottawa has still not benched Brian Elliott? Fear not, I will soon have my answer.
8:15 – Sid scores his second goal of the game and 43rd of the series. Former NHL goaltender Darren Elliot, who to my knowledge is no relation to Ottawa’s soon to be former starter, informs us that “Elliott needs to make that save.” Right on queue, in to the game comes the long forgotten French Canadian goaltending savior, Pascal Leclaire. The Pens are going to win this one easily…er, uh, yah sure.
8:20 – Ottawa finally scores on an ugly scramble goal by Chris Neil. Even though Neil follows the goal by taking one of the dumbest penalties in playoff history, I have a feeling this game is about to get crazy.
8:25 – Daniel Alfredsson scores a power play goal to make it 4-2. It’s a pure sniper’s goal from the point by a truly underrated star player. After 41 years in the hockey purgatory that is Ottawa, Alfredsson must get up every day and think; “how many Stanley Cups would I have won if not for the fact that Patrick Lalime is FAR AND AWAY, the best goaltender I ever played with?”
8:30 – The Pens go two men shorthanded after taking 16 consecutive minor penalties.
8:33 – Fear not, Superstar Max knocks home a shorty with assist from Craig Adams. I could ponder why Adams only scores in the playoffs but instead I pose this question; “has there ever been a player who lifts his game more in the playoffs than Max Talbot?” From borderline 4th line grinder in the regular season to jack of all trades superstar in the playoffs. The guy is unreal after taxes are due.
8:35 – Fear yes, Matt Cullen scores on a two man advantage. Text from Emily…what happened to 4 to 0? Wish I knew.
8:40 – CHRIS KUNITZ SCORES, CHRIS KUNITZ SCORES. Coming tomorrow, the Cubs win the World Series, the Chicago transit authority runs busses on time and the U.S. government produces a fiscal surplus. Also, I think I have an answer to my previous question about how bad is Pascal Leclaire. He’s bad…Brian Elliott bad.
8:45 – There are two drinkable liquids that rush their way through the human body and I’ve consumed both. Ice tea (1) and beer (2). Let’s just say that I make a b-line for the men’s room as the period ends. A sane person would not have waited that long.
8:46 – Penguins score five goals in one period of a playoff game. In the owner’s box Mario is rumored to be thinking…”I did that myself once.” Somewhere, Rob Brown is smiling and Ron Hextall is chasing bunnies in the backyard with his old goaltender stick.
8:50 – Charissa Thompson interviews Max between periods. Apparently she’s tired of trying to pull answers out of Geno. Then we go back to the set and discover Mike Keenan on the set of versus. Yes, that Mike Keenan…the guy from 1984. Makes sense; why not pull in the expert opinion of a man who last won a playoff series when Sid the Kid was seven years old.
9:13 – Glass breaks again so Versus shows a game break, Detroit shuts out Phoenix. I suddenly feel an overwhelming needed to barf up my buffalo wings...but somehow I maintain.
9:17 – Versus cuts to a highlight of Melanie Brodeur’s ex husband giving up another softie on the short side. This mitigates the earlier obligatory highlight of a great sprawling save they showed earlier that had Keenan jumping out of his seat in the studio. Remember when Brodeur used to be good? Can we finally stop the non stop love fest for the guy who nearly choked away Canada’s Olympic goal medal and has not won a playoff series in four years? Let’s start celebrating real star goaltenders like Roberto Luongo and Evgeni Nabokov. Ok, never mind.
9:24 – The Pens just refuse to win this game easy. Matt Cooke takes a bad penalty to put them two men short handed and then they watch Spezza of all people circle the zone and score another power play goal. Apparently the Pens are making up for all of those power play goals they did not give up in the regular season. Something new for us to worry about next round. I’m getting nauseous again.
9:32 – Kris Letang misses the net on an open shot from the point. In other news, Ben Roethlisberger has had a bad month, the NHL aggressively promotes Sidney Crosby, and Emily likes cheese.
9:34 – Pascal Leclaire gives up another truly awful rebound goal. Daniel Alfredsson breaks down crying. Ottawa is the only team in the playoffs that could upgrade their goaltending by acquiring Dany Sabourin. These guys are worse than Cristobal Huet. That’s like saying somebody had a worse winter then Tiger Woods.
9:37 – I’m starting to think there will be not be a game 6 on Saturday night for my trip to Pittsburgh. Actually, I’m starting to think; how did Ottawa win a game this season, let alone get the 5th seed with these two stiffs minding the nets?
9:38 – I’ve outlasted my waiter. The check for two dinners, two appetizers, two drinks and two beers is $41. That’s a Miller Lite in downtown Chicago.
9:39 – Progressive runs another commercial featuring my former admin assistant from work. The woman is far more versatile than we ever realized.
9:40 – The world’s most interesting man. “I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis.” For the record, I’m drinking New Castle (you write this stuff when its 7 to 4).
9:44 – Random thought, I wonder what difference Ruslan Fedotenko would have made in this game. Answer…none. Congrats Feds, you are this year’s Petr Sykora.
9:45 – Do you think Ottawa fans might be happier if they were not awarded a franchise in 1992? Seriously, this is just a tortured organization. They are the only team in hockey that can’t be Toronto. Here’s a thought…DRAFT A REAL NHL GOALTENDER !!! Somewhere out there, Gary Roberts is smiling.
9:50 – Ottawa takes a four minute penalty with two minutes left. This probably does not bode well for their comeback chances.
9:52 – PENGUINS WIN…PENGUINS WIN!!!
All Hail the Mighty Penguin, blessed be the Penguin, for it is good !
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