We Cannot Defend the Indefensible

On January 17, 2012, I wrote the following in this blog regarding Joe Paterno:

For now, I’ve made peace with the following short-term compromise. I accept that a decent human being made a terrible mistake. I do not believe he did so with direct intention or malice but that is irrelevant in consideration of the consequences.

I will accept that this is undeniably part of his legacy and that he must answer for his action or worse yet inaction. At the same time, I refuse to directly offset six decades of good; 60 years of giving more of himself than most of us could ever imagine by one awful decision. Not when he neither witnessed nor perpetrated the crime. I still maintain that Jerry Sandusky is the ultimate criminal and demon in this situation; a fact that far too many have willfully forgotten.

That’s my compromise, at least as of today. It’s flawed, biased, perhaps even irrational. I’m in no position to deny that. I’m far too close to this situation emotionally to remain objective.

My position however remains very much fluid. And what frightens me most after Paterno’s statements is that I can now conceive only of my perspective getting worse, not better. Paterno has officially set the “best case scenario” boundary for him and quite frankly it’s not all that great. Given his failing health and the magnitude of the scandal, it’s possible he will offer no greater defense.

 The worst case scenario remains very much in play; he participated in a carefully orchestrated cover up to protect Penn State or his football program. When or if that is proven to be correct, the compromise I described above will be irrevocably destroyed, as will the entirety of Paterno’s legacy. At that point all those involved will be indefensible on any level. I cling to the hope, however thin that no such conspiracy exists; for the good of both Paterno and Penn State as a whole.

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Today, I posted the following on Bob Smizik's internet blog:

From the beginning...and as recently as last week, I have pleaded with everyone to be patient and let all the facts come out. I hoped those facts might make things better than they appear, but frequently conceded they would likely make things look far worse.

Prior to today I did not believe we were in possession of nearly enough facts to make any conclusions as it relates to a cover-up. We had a grand jury transcript, and little else to PROVE a cover up. People could make educated inferences but nothing more.

I took some criticism for that stance in this forum but I do not regret it. I staunchly believe that before you publically condemn people for involvement in a vile cover-up of sexual abuse; before you annihilate their reputations and legacies there must be reasonable proof of their actions. Prior to today, I do not believe we had sufficient and complete information to make such conclusions.

This is especially the case for a man with a 60 year track record of teaching and mentoring young men. I argued that man deserved and in fact demanded the presumption of innocence as he had earned benefit of the doubt.

As of today, that benefit of the doubt is gone. A neutral investigation has provided substantial evidence of a heinous cover-up. I cannot defend the indefensible nor will I try. Today is a terrible day for all of those who believed or wanted to believe Paterno, Penn State, or those involved.

 It will take a long time to come to grips with the full ramifications of this. And PSU is in no position to argue any sanctions brought against this football program.

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I’m not sure what else there is to say.

As stated above, I do not regret my position. I was never willfully ignorant of the issue or the potential consequences. I made the decision to support something and somebody I believed in until there were definitive facts to the contrary. Of course this was a biased an emotional decision. It was also based on my own experience and thousands of testimonials from those who knew Joe Paterno that he was a good and decent person. I choose to believe that over media speculation and public blood lust.

I also wanted desperately to believe Joe Paterno. I wanted to believe, no matter how horrific the scandal that somehow, someway, he was above it all. Even with the release of the horrifying Freeh report today, I probably on some level still do. And I’m sure I’m not alone in these conflicted feelings.

Because we love Penn State; because Joe Paterno meant so much to us we will probably on some subconscious level continue to give him benefit of the doubt. We will compartmentalize our anger for his actions and inactions a decade ago, separating that from our belief that he was at heart, a decent person. We will never truly look at him with the same scorn or contempt that most outside the Penn State community now do. When you are as emotionally invested in a person or an ideal as we are, completely and honestly facing the harsh truth can be a daunting task. Perhaps some of us never truly will.

Notwithstanding the horrors of this scandal and his apparent involvement in it, I grieve for Joe Paterno’s soul today.

That said, there are times in life when it’s okay for your heart to overrule your brain...and this is not one of them. No matter our preconceived biases, we must now confront reality. Excepting some shocking revelation to the contrary, that reality is that Joe Paterno was part of an orchestrated cover-up of sexual abuse of children. That act is indefensible, on any level.

If you find yourself doubting that at any time, go back and read the testimony of the children who were abused by Jerry Sandusky. And then understand that several powerful and intelligent people made the decision not to intervene in any way to stop it. I maintain that Sandusky is the ultimate criminal here; a depraved and cowardly human being who tortured his victims right to his final moment of freedom. Regardless, as of today I’m no longer able to fully separate his actions from those who failed in their obligation to stop him.

Six months ago, I stated that I could understand, if not forgive a crime of omission. I could understand how a man put in an impossibly difficult situation, related to acts he neither perpetrated nor witnessed, might erroneously choose to divorce himself from the issue. If that were the extent of his failings it would indicate only that like all of us, Joe Paterno was a flawed human being.

I cannot, under any circumstances understand or forgive anyone who puts the welfare of a university or its football program over the lives of young children. The act is heinous beyond my ability to reconcile. All those involved must be held accountable to the fullest extent possible. Such an outrage must never occur again.

If there is any positive in today’s horrific news, it is this; Penn State can now officially begin the healing process. Whether that process includes football or not is now fully irrelevant. We are in no position to argue any sanctions against the program, even the dreaded death penalty. To be perfectly honest, I’m not sure I will ever fully embrace Penn State football again, though I’m far too conflicted emotionally to state that as a certainty.

All I know for certain at this moment is this; I feel like we were living a lie our entire lives. I feel like six decades of our history has been summarily obliterated.

I reiterate one final point from my January blog; a point that seems even more poignant today. There is nothing worth compromising your ethics or integrity. There are often daunting short-term consequences for standing firmly behind your principles. Such consequences pail compared to the long-term price of ignoring them.

Indeed they do.