Blogging the Blackhawks and Sharks…LIVE from San Jose.

My typically erratic work schedule has me in San Francisco this week.  In a fortuitous bit of scheduling, my adopted home town Blackhawks are in San Jose to play the Sharks; a battle of two of the league’s hottest clubs early in this abbreviated season.  And while most of the Bay Area (and one loan Steeler fan) remain chronically depressed over the 49ers' Super Bowl loss; the local hockey gentry were clearly fired up for this early season grudge match.

If I’m 2,000 miles from home and headed to a sporting event, it can only mean one thing...a Bill Simmons style recap of the evening.  Rest assured this is approved for all audiences including Penguin and Philly fans.  All times pacific standard time and HEAVILY estimated. 

1:20pm – The miracle that is Stub Hub.  It takes me 5 minutes to find, purchase, and receive tickets to a hockey game in San Jose. 

6:20pm – Call me a technology curmudgeon but I simply do not trust GPS.  Alas, I fire up Siri and let her be my guide rather than using the old school printed Google directions our forefathers relied on.  By the time I return to my hotel five hours later I will conclude that Siri took me a solid 15 minutes out of my way.  Grrrr.

7:10pm – Parking by the HP Pavilion is $25, which is a bit steep in my humble estimation.  News flash, the Silicon Valley billionaire era ended in 2001.

 

 

7:15pm – A quick check of the IPhone shows the Penguins win their 4^th straight, 4-2 over the Islanders.  This point is fairly irrelevant to the evening’s adventure but for the fact that there is NEVER an inappropriate time to mention four straight Penguin victories.  ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY PENGUIN…BLESSED BE THE PENGUIN, FOR IT IS GOOD.

7:30pm – My seat is in the isle…literally.  You walk up the steps and literally right in to my seat on the edge of row 6.  It makes for an incredible view if nobody is in front of you.  IF…nobody is in front of you.

7:35pm – My issues with Blackhawks’ bird mascot Tommy Hawk are well documented but taking that out of the equation; the Sharks' mascot repels from the scoreboard to the ice on a rope.  I don’t care what team you root for, dopey shark mascots dropping from the sky is simply awesome.

7:40pm – Corey Crawford spits up a brutal rebound and Joe PAVELski pounces it on it for an early goal.  Not the start the Hawks were looking for.

7:45pm – Some guy named Tommy Wiggles fires a wicked wrister by Crawford to make it 2-0.  I’m a Penguin fan by trade but I fear I’ve transferred my usual bad road karma to the Hawks.  In an ironic twist of fate, Wiggles (not his actual name) is a Chicago native.  Go figure.  Laser beam of a shot but Crawford was WAY too deep in his net.  Crawford is playing like…well, he’s struggling.

7:50pm – In yet another incredibly ironic twist, Blackhawks’ forward and Pittsburgh native Brandon Saad scores his first NHL goal to cut the deficit in half.  A Pittsburgh guy who lives and works in Chicago has a big hockey adventure in San Jose.  If Saad was an accountant…he’d be me !  Onward and upward.

7:55pm – Crawford gives up another softie to make it 3-1.  I start gesticulating wildly for Coach Q to pull him for Ray Emery.  I’m not sure what’s worse, that I somehow feel this action will affect Quenville’s decision or that I’m aggressively lobbying to see Ray Emery enter an NHL game.

7:56pm – While the crowd is still celebrating the 3^rd Sharks goal, Andrew Shaw pounds a rebound past by my wife’s all-time favorite player Antii Niemi.  From 2,000 miles away I sense massive conflict and angst.

8:00pm – This game is just nuts.  Marcus Kruger of all people ties it at 3.  Again...Marcus Kruger.  We’ve had 6 goals on about 4 shots in the first period and amazingly neither goaltender gets the hook.

8:14pm – I grab a bite to each between periods.  They actually have Panda Express at the Shark Tank but I’m thinking Kung Pao chicken and hockey, not a match.  Which regrettably leads to the following…

8:15pm – I find a place called Sonoma Chicken which I mistakenly assume will be healthier than burgers or dogs.  I order a jalapeno chicken sandwich and I’m told it comes with tortilla chips.  I notice they also have sides of rice and mashed potatoes which apparently go with their rotisserie chicken meal.  So I ask the guy if I can have potatoes instead of chips.  He responds, “The sandwich only comes with chips.”  I ask him if I can pay extra for a side of potatoes.  He responds, “No, it comes with chips.”  I tell him again, “I will pay extra (i.e. cash) for the potatoes.”  He says, “No, we can’t do that.”  Seriously, they will not SELL me a side of mashed potatoes, let alone just give it to me.  YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS STUFF UP.

8:30pm – The San Jose ushers take their jobs really, really seriously.  They absolutely refuse to let people walk to their seats until a stoppage in play (a policy I support).  They also walk through the sections and enforce that you sit back in your chair because leaning forward obstructs the view of those behind you.  Must be some kind of new liberal social policy in California.

8:50pm – Jamaal Mayers, the guy the Hawks pay to beat people up, absorbs a horrific high speed hit at the blue line and appears to be knocked out.  Duncan Keith of all people comes to his aid and a brawl ensues.  I could spend time lamenting the risks to Keith’s expensive new false teeth but instead I’ll go with my old familiar rant.  How can the NHL claim fighting is necessary as a deterrent to cheap shots but add a 2 minute instigator and 10 minute misconduct if you fight to actually defend a teammate...after a cheap shot?   Keep in mind that if Keith had waited until the next shift and ASKED for a fight, it’s all good.  So apparently fighting is perfectly acceptable as a deterrent to cheap shots, as long as the other guy gives his express written consent.  Cause you know…that makes sense.

8:51pm – End of anti-fighting rant.

9:00pm – Jonathan Toews strips Douglas Murray puck naked, and sets up Patrick Kane for a brilliant one time finish.  Play of the night, hands down. The Hawks now have four goals or TWO more than I’ve been treated too COMBINED in the last FOUR Penguin road games I’ve attended.  Not that I’m bitter.

9:01pm – I come to the random realization that I am no longer repulsed by the presence of Marian Hossa in a Blackhawks’ uniform.  Just five years and all is forgiven.

9:05pm – Kiss cam in San Jose is borderline soft core porn.   

9:15pm – Men’s room at the Shark Tank gets 4 stars.  And trust me…I’m an expert in such evaluations.

9:35pm - Crawford robs (insert Shark name here) with a brilliant point blank save.  Give Coach Q credit for sticking with his guy and for somehow managing to ignore the crazy gesticulations from section 221 just 90 minutes earlier.

9:50pm – The linesmen gets clocked with a slap shot clearing attempt and crumbles to the ice in agony.  Over 17,500 fans cheer in unison because, you know, nothing unites us like a potentially serious injury.  Why on earth would ANYBODY want to be an official?   

10:00pm – Hawks fans know about the crazy, long haired freaky guy who makes bizarre angry faces and gestures on the scoreboard every game to fire up the UC. Well, in San Jose they have their own version; a fat old guy who looks suspiciously like Bruce Boudreau (seriously).  As I watch his stomach and man boobs crescendo like waves in the Pacific, I am officially thankful they for the earlier mashed potatoes rejection.  Just one less thing for me to recycle (read, vomit).

10:05pm – This comment from a Sharks fan behind me is pretty much the GREATEST SUMMATION EVER of the career of Scott Gomez.  “He does not score very often…but he has good ideas.”  Bravo.

 

10:06pm - It's just too good to consider that Gomez, the most overpaid bust in NHL history is added to a team that already includes Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau.  I'm literally salavating at the amount of smart ass material this gives me for my playoff predictions.  By the way, I finally notice Thornton on the ice when he serves a delay of game penalty against Niemi.  So that's something.

10:10pm – Patrick Kane fires home an empty netter…HAWKS WIN!  Huge win for the red hot Hawks.  I bolt for the exit and beat traffic thanks primarily to my perfectly placed isle seat.

 

10:15pm – My rush to beat traffic leaves no time to program the GPS. The printed directions send the wrong way on the expressway. Technology karma sucks.

10;20pm – I’m listening to a sports talk show hosted by get this…GUY HABERMAN.  Seriously…GUY HABERMAN !!!  Guy knows his stuff although he spends too much time lamenting the life and times of Jim Harbaugh.  By the way, did you know the two head coaches in the Super Bowl were brothers?

 11:30pm – End of a long day?  Desperately needed sleep or completely useless blog?  You guessed it.