Going “Big Z” on the Sports Deadzone

We have a saying here in the windy city that a person went “Big Z” on someone. This is in deference to (or fear of) Cubs’ lunatic fringe pitcher Carlos Zambrano and essentially means the person to some degree lost their mind, freaked out, had a meltdown, and possibly beat the crap out somebody. Better stated, they reenacted the last five years of Zambrano in Chicago.

After Big Z’s latest meltdown and childish threat to retire last week it appears the Cubs have FINALLY had enough. I guess $90 Million buys a lot of forgiveness given that the Cubs have repeatedly overlooked (among other things) Zambrano's remarkable inconsistency, beating up his catcher, selling out his teammates, and freaking out at opposing players, coaches, and umpires. Bailing on his teammates in the middle of a game was the final straw. This should not surprise anybody who lived through the tumultuous end of the Sammy Sosa, Flintstones vitamin era in Chicago. The Cubs actually released Zapruder film like coverage of Sosa in the parking lot during his final game in Chicago.

The shame of it is that during those rare times when Zambrano is lucid and focused, he’s an exceptionally good pitcher. He appeared to be on the verge of Cy Young caliber stardom before signing his massive contract and he even after that tossed a no hitter in 2008. Alas, such greatness is far too rare and completely eclipsed by his over the top public meltdowns (and subsequent hollow apologies).

Zambrano is a locker room parasite who feeds on the extremely limited supply of positive energy at Wrigley field. Regardless of whether Cubs fans have any faith in their management team, the reality is that no meaningful rebuilding can occur on the north side until Zambrano is vanquished from the clubhouse. We can’t even guarantee that will occur given that he’s professed his love for Chicago and filed a grievance against the Cubs for suspending him. Unreal.

Jim Hendry has done less with more than virtually any general manager in sports. His record of player procurement is abysmal, especially given the budget he has to work with. Sadly his one area of expertise appears to be moving out malcontents with supposedly untradeable contracts. Here’s hoping the man who found homes for Sosa and Milton Bradley can do the same for Zambrano.

With that, I go Big Z on some other random topics in the heart of the summer sports dead zone:

• Forgive me if I’m not exactly shocked by the Yahoo story detailing rampant corruption at the University of Miami. Gee, the solid citizens of the U were given improper benefits including money, cars, alcohol, strippers, and prostitutes. What next, violence in maximum security prisons? Partisan dysfunction in congress? The Pirates finishing below 500?  Yah, stop the press.

• Sadly, the Miami story is becoming the norm in big time college athletics. Powerhouse programs at USC and Ohio State (not to mention weaklings like North Carolina) are either on probation or facing serious allegations. As I sit here right now I’ll give you 2 to 1 odds that Auburn’s National Championship is vacated within five years. In fact, given the budding scandal at Oregon they might just pretend the whole BCS title game never happened. The unfortunate truth is that big time college football has become a cesspool of corruption. Worse yet, what we do not know is probably a lot worse than what we do.

• I admit I do not have a ready made solution to address corruption in college athletics but it would help if the NCAA stopped enabling egregious violations, let alone actually punishing them. I just read an article that stated the Sugar Bowl folks insisted Terrell Pryor and his accomplices play in their $20 Million New Year’s exhibition in order to, and I love this choice of language, protect the “integrity” of the contest. Sadly it was only slightly worse than Auburn starting their $180,000 amateur quarterback after the NCAA willingly buried its head in the sand. I’m dating myself here but the NCAA compliance officers remind me of the Bartles and James wine cooler guys from those late 80s commercials.

• As much as I believe that it’s long past time for Joe Paterno to retire, I often wonder if Penn State’s recent struggles are more because of JoePa’s age or because we don’t have alumni boosters that chaperone recruits to strip clubs. If it’s the latter, i.e., if Penn State has fallen in stature because they refuse to cheat, it makes it virtually impossible for me to watch college football anymore. Hopefully Pat Fitzgerald can address this after JoePa retires in three to five more years.

• Why do I feel like I’m the only person in the Steeler Nation who is genuinely concerned about the age of the defense? If Aaron Smith is in the line-up on opening day, the team will have eight starters on the plus side of 30. That may be young in public accounting but its ancient in the National Football League. As brilliant as the defense was in 2008 and 2010, there were notable signs of aging, primarily their inability to stop teams in the fourth quarter. I think that’s why Tomlin and Lebeau switched to that horrific prevent in the AFC title game that nearly caused me to Big Z my flat screen.

• Bill Bellicheat is not, as commonly postulated a genius but he is willing to think outside the football box. For years I’ve questioned why teams even attempt to run the football against the Steelers, given the utter futility of the effort. Belicheat to his credit abandoned established football dogma and never did. The Patriots regularly shred the Steelers’ defense with a quick strike passing game while making only token efforts on the ground. Green Bay used this same game plan in the Super Bowl as did Drew Brees and even Mark Sanchez last year.

The good news for the Black and Gold is you need a hall of fame caliber quarterback to execute this strategy. The bad news is that several such quarterbacks potentially stand between the Steelers and another Lombardi Trophy.

• I know the preseason does not mean squat but I could swear I saw Rex Grossman tearing up the Steelers’ defense last Friday night.

• Rick Reilly jumped the shark as a columnist about five years ago but he nailed it this week in ripping the Cincy Bungles and their cheap, curmudgeon owner Mike Brown. What does it tell you that Carson Palmer would forfeit $45 Million rather than play football for the Bungles? Brown has been running a pathetic and cheap organization for decades. He basically told his coach Marvin Lewis to kiss of when Lewis demanded the Bungles spend money and modernize. And this hypocritical oaf has the gall to suggest that Palmer reneged on his commitment to the team? How many players have the Bengals cut while they were under “contractual commitments?”

Even if you 100% agree with Brown and think Palmer is the NFL’s Big Z, riddle me this; would a good owner force a fading star player to retire out of spite or pawn him off for high draft choices to improve the club? Watch Brown do nothing and you’ll have your answer.

• As we sit here today I have no idea whether Sidney Crosby will be in the line-up on opening night. I refuse to make any assumptions based on rampant and irresponsible media speculation. I will say that if he’s not ready to go then he should stay on the sidelines until he is. The Pens made a monumental gaffe in allowing their franchise superstar to play after the Steckel hit. I was convinced he has a concussion when I saw it live and more so when 24/7 replayed it. The only positive here is that the Pens realized their mistake and resisted the temptation to rush him back for the playoffs. Crosby is the franchise and he’s two years away from being a free agent. Given that, I’m okay with exercising a tad more patience than they did with Aaron Asham.

• Sometimes when I need a cheap smile or laugh I remind myself that they worship hockey in Vancouver and Roberto Luongo is under contract until 2047.

• Only 24 days until the Steelers open their season in Baltimore and the sports dead zone mercifully ends. Looking forward to seeing James Harrison and the boys go Big Z on Joe Flacco!